As I’m in on Twitter quite a lot, both for pleasure and work, I took to ripping the piss out of myself for being follicly-challenged. I did/do this about being a shortarse too. It’s partly a preemptive strike – mock yourself before others do. But honestly, I felt/feel comfortable to point out my baldness/shortness cos I’m bald and short. I can live with it.
Part of the running joke was trying to wangle a hair transplant. I’d do it in the same way I’d ask Rashida Jones for a date at Greggs – for the lols and zero expectation of it happening. That was until I chanced upon a tweet about Joe Ledley getting a transplant with and accordingly started pestering them. To my surprise, they didn’t block me or politely tell me to piss off.
One thing led to another, and before I knew it there was a Twitter poll on whether they should grant me my wish. Don’t get me wrong, as much as I was resigned to my baldy fate, once this transpired, I started to get properly into it. I was like a Liverpool fan – daring to believe it could be my year…to finally use a comb again.
In a result more surprising than Brexit, the masses voted Remain – or rather, Regain – of my fast disappearing hairline. It was very kind of them, as it was of KSL to entertain the very idea. It was hard to comprehend that it might actually happen…and in a way, I didn’t properly comprehend it all. I just thought fucking hell…new hair!
Still, I’d been carried by the momentum of all, and didn’t really know what to expect. What next? What if KSL took one look at my sparse foliage and told me I was beyond the point of repair? Even worse, what if I’d been catfished by the work experience kid at KSL and it was all just a sick joke at my shiny head’s expense?
Those fears soon dispersed once I got talking to co-founder and CEO Simon Lindsay. He was friendly, gregarious and instantly disarming. It became clear that the company’s whole vibe flowed from the top, and the matey social media presence made perfect sense. That said, this was a consultation, and I had so many questions.
I’ve known a few driven businessmen in my time, and a shared trait is a forensic understanding of every last detail of their empire. Simon may have been enjoyable company, but when it came to talking about the details of the procedure, it was like flicking a switch to a science channel. It was very educational – and reassuring.